A Man’s View of Infertility

As a man there are several things that I am not used to dealing with. I do not have to worry about being yelled at and whistled at by other people. I am not fearful of being raped. I am not dealing with a monthly visitor. I do not have major mood swings due to hormone issues. However there is something that I must admit. I have been a husband for 12 years. Over that time I would like to think that I have learned a few things about women and that I understand them a little bit more now as opposed to when I was first married. In our marriage there have been some major issues that we have had to deal with but the hardest and highest hurdle that we have ever jumped was infertility. This is not just something that affects women. Sure, my wife had to deal with this awful issue but I did too. We went through the issues together because that is what a loving partner does. So what can I say about infertility?

I can only offer you the view that a man has. As a man there is nothing more that I like to do than to fix problems. I am a natural born fixer. When the glass is broken I fix it. When the car breaks down I fix it. The only issue here is that I couldn’t fix the infertility issue. I would try to fix the problem by amusing her or taking her mind off of it but all that did was make it worse. So men allow me to say this to you directly. Do not try to fix her. She will only feel like you think she is broken. She is already dealing with that feeling and emotion and she does not need that coming from you. Instead, just be there. Love her unconditionally. Hold her. Listen to her. Let her cry and let her be ticked off. That is the way to handle the issue.

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